Hi guys,
I hope you can all guess what this blog post is going to be about and so I am going to introduce you to part one of my unofficial guide to New Japan Pro Wrestling wrestlers in one sentence. If it doesn't make sense (and I don't see how it doesn't) then here's a run down: I'm going to describe each member of every NJPW faction in one sentence. Just a note before you read it: take it all with a pinch of salt because they're not meant to be serious and I'm just having a bit of fun. Either you'll get my humour and laugh along or you'll hate me - it's up to you how you take it! I'll also be doing it in two separate posts because I know too much of my humour will be too much for some of you and it's also a lot to read so I'd much rather do two separate ones... so enjoy!
Taguchi Japan (my favourite faction)
Ryusuke Taguchi - Coach pervert who likes hitting people with his funky weapon ass
Hiroshi Tanahashi - Dad with beautiful hair who likes playing his air guitar
David Finlay - C Block Champ with amazing hair
Tomoaki Honma - He hurts people by falling on them
Juice Robinson - The flamboyant star spangled Pirate who defeated the evil Switchblade
Jyushin Thunder Liger - The Legend who likes to dance to entrance theme's
Kushida - He wishes he was in Back to the Future
Michael Elgin - Big Mike is very big
Toa Henare - A Kiwi who gets very excited in his matches and likes to Haka
Togi Makabe - He likes to bring chains to the ring and punch people 10 times
Tiger Mask - I could listen to this guy's theme tune 24/7
Hiroyoshi Tenzan - The two tone hair OG
Katsuyori Shibata - He's not an Italian bread but kicks crazy hard
Satoshi Kojima - Senpai to the stars
Bullet Club Elite
Kenny Omega - Noodle hair boy who is good at everything
Chase Owens - former honorary Tongan and politic-er
Cody - Everyone's favourite bad guy (and looks a bit like Stardust)
Hangman Page - He nearly killed a man but does a great shooting star press so it's fine
Marty Scurll - Is he a bird or what?
Matt Jackson - 'It's time to do something really cool'
Nick Jackson - I pray he doesn't die doing something stupid off the top rope
Yujiro Takahashi - He's a pimp with a pimp stick
Kota Ibushi - (Honorary BC) Pure angel of a man with the strikes to knock your head off
Bullet Club OG
Tama Tonga - Never trust a Tongan
Tanga Loa - No really, I mean it, never trust a Tongan
Bad Luck Fale - Please don't hurt another ring announcer
Taiji Ishimori - Have you seen his abs move?
So, that's it for part one and hopefully you've all seen the funny side to it! I'll hopefully post part two in the next week or so and you'll find it equally as funny so keep an eye out on here for the next post or alternatively follow me on Twitter @Full_Time_Nerd and @Wrestling_Chat to keep up to date with my posts and when I publish something!
So, until Next Time
Bye!
That was a pretty good and funny analysis of NJPW wrestlers
ReplyDeleteThis is so cool to read :)
ReplyDelete